==:: A Walk to Remember ::==

After finding out that this was a great movie to watch, and several claiming it to be their favorite,
I decided to download the movie and watch it myself.

To my surprise, I was deeply moved.
It's hard to write how I felt afterwards, but one thing I can say is that it made me cry three times.
Definitely something to remember..
The ending was very sad though,
I wanted a happy ending! T_T
Well, I guess that's what life is and what it's about.
Other than that, all I saw in the movie was true love in it's purest form.
And so it has become my favorite as well.

I just couldn't believe that I've learned so much this summer,
Movies, events, new people I've met.
It really has changed the way I think about life.
After watching the movie, I just sat there, staring at the wall....
Thinking......thinking......
Eventually I came to realize that I need to grow up.
The fact is, I'm not a kid anymore, play time is over.
It's about time I should be able to control my emotions.
So far, I'm doing pretty good, well since I'm all alone it's pretty easy to control it.
But the real test is when I socialize, I hope thoughts won't bother me.
Just block out the thoughts, They say...

So this is it!
Let's grow up!
xD

==:: My Roller Coaster ::==

Lately it has been quite a ride.
The ups, the downs. For a moment I thought I could change, be more, say...social.
For the past years I've been stuck in my own world, doing my own things.
From my point, all I've been doing was watching and pondering at possibilities, good or bad.
But I've never really made action.
Ever since I liked this girl, it's like all the things I do, don't matter anymore. As if, life is more than computer games. Well, I felt this way before, but for quite some time of not pondering at it, I returned to my old self. So rephrase....I was reminded that life is more than what I thought it was.

Elementary, High School. I never really did my best.
On Graduation Day, I did not receive any award. I felt bad for the first time.
I then recognized the importance of my parents role regarding my education.
I could have been more. More than I was.
It was just like as my dad said,
I have three lives, one for each phase of education.
I've wasted two, I have one more left.
One left to prove who I am and what I am capable of.
But this has brought itself an expectation I may not be able to fulfill.
Can I live up to what I've stated?
I hope so.

I've come pretty far, but have I spent it well?
Time flies so fast, I'll be 17 this year. T_T
When I was young I always wondered what I'll look like at 17, or 25. Wondered what's up ahead.
But it seems, the more I ponder, the faster time ticks.
If there's one thing I've learned from this, that is, to live life to the fullest and make every second count.

Emotions have taken over me, I admit, I am emotionally driven.
Which is not good. I cannot go on my life like this.
I have to step up and push it aside, but the thing is.
Will people accept me? Why should I care. It's for my own good any way.
But the thing is, I care...I care about what people might think of me..
From there I think of many thoughts, twisted, tangled, never ending train of thoughts..
Thoughts that contradict, thoughts that are sometimes, imagination only.
They eventually posses me.

It's time I guess, it's time to step up, time to take action.
Because I'm tired of repeating the cycle, the cycle of madness and torment.
I'll have this chance at college. I should prepare myself.
*sigh*

==:: Graduation ::==

Its been a while since I've updated this blog.
I'll start of with my graduation.


Wow!!! I'm finally graduating!!! After endless nights of doing my homework I have finally come to the point where I have to say Good Bye to High School.
I will miss a lot of people.
Yep a lot has happened since August 22, 2007 (I can't believe that's how long I've left this blog to remain in the dust), the happenings, the downfalls, the high times of my stay in GBA.
Since I came to GBA, the homework was something I dreaded, and sometimes I think when it will end.

Everybody says college is hard! but sometimes I say to myself, "Hey, not all high schools have this kind of curriculum, this hard, painstaking curriculum. And since thats the case, if people who graduated in those public high schools think college is hard, then shouldn't it be any easier for us with this curriculum?"
Those thoughts and many others have kinda reduced my fear in confronting college.

It's gonna be hard starting in a place where you know nobody. I've had this fear since my childhood.
Like when I came to England for the first time, I went to their school. I knew nobody. On my first day, I stood and observed what other children were doing, I just couldn't fit in. I stood there alone on the playground, thinking....thinking....then I broke out into a cry. I just couldn't stand it anymore, I felt so out of place. A student found me crying and reported it to the teacher. They thought I tripped and hurt myself or something, so they kept asking me these questions. I mean what was I going to say! I don't recall what I did after that but they introduced me to this guy named Nicholas, he was my best buddy since then.

Will I cry on my first day on college just because I knew nobody?!!! x_x
Neh, too embarrassing. Besides, a special friend told me to just go for it, and meet new people, live life to the fullest while I still can.

Let's just see what college is like.......